Thank-you fellow people. I believe in a better, more profitable America. We have a half-trillion dollar debt that needs to be paid back and I have new innovative ways to come up with the money.
First, I will sell sponsorships for our National Forests and Parks. Commercial sponsors are already lining up. Imagine a beautiful AT&T Yosemite, Pep Boys Petrified Forest, The Del Taco Grande Canyon...Viagra Falls. For further financing, Fox Television has bought the rights to film my presidency as a Reality TV Show.
In addition, to help pay those growing local and state debts, I propose Prepaid Traffic Infraction Coupon Books. Buy a friend a speeding ticket or moving violation in advance. Even DUIs and vehicular manslaughter.
And if that isn't enough, I'll transfer the balance of our debt to a low-interest credit card, 0% interest till November 2009!--thats 100 million dollars of interest savings! Then I'll Incorporate America, move the White House to the Cayman Islands and declare bankruptcy!
So remember, when you vote, that only I will save you money! I am your Corporate Ambassador. A vote for Bob... is a Vote!
Thank-you, thank-you.